Eugene Rant

"The cause of America is, in a great measure, the cause of all mankind." --Thomas Paine

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Dissonance

Y'know, sometimes when your 18 month old son is pounding on random keys of a toy xylophone in the middle of the living room, and your 3 month old daughter's cries are escaping through the gaps between her mouth and the nipple of a bottle, it sounds like pure aural enjoyment.

It seemed to resemble one of those times where noise carried a certain pleasing tone, that you knew would escape you soon - the harmony of angry car horns, a crowded foyer where voices seem to mingle when people can't - but you wanted to remember it, so that you could refer to it.

Either you forget the sounds (and the way they make you feel), or you scribble it into an incoherent blog entry. Done.

Update: Perhaps I was mentally breaking down the wave functions and found one I liked. Perhaps three glasses of post-dinner "medicine" influenced my mental wave function analysis.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Healthcare Hijinx

So you say, "The US is the richest country in the world! All that wealth! Why don't you do something with it?!"

Then you say "I want free/cheap/Canadian drugs!"

Wattsamatta? YOU living in the richest country in the world can't afford drugs at US prices? Or are you defiant to the evil pharmaceutical companies? OR can't you find any of this wealth? OR did the government take it form you/hasn't given it to you yet? If the former, they took it to pay for your healthcare/education/transportation. If the latter, well, you know.

A note on the NHLPA sourpusses

Canada has become known as the tax-happy, quasi-socialist country to the north of us; the antithesis of freedom (coupled with personal responsibility) we know and love. So I thought I'd look up the birthplaces of those players currently on the Executive Council of the NHL players' union.

Pres Trevor Linden - Alberta, Canada

VP Bob Boughner - Ontario, Canada
VP Vincent Damphousse - Quebec, Canada
VP Daniel Alfredsson - Sweden
VP Bill Guerin - Massachusets, USA (Might as WELL be Canada)
VP Trent Klatt - Minnesota, USA
VP Arturs Irbe - Latvia

Four from the land of new world socialism, one from the land of old world socialism, and one from the most liberal state in the US. My guess is these ideals are responsible for the absence of a 2004-2005 NHL season.

I know it's been said that the big reason for concern is the salary cap to be imposed. In the interest of keeping the free market meme of this blog understood, I'll say that I don't agree with the idea of a salary cap. However in this case, the NFL and NBA have benefitted from it, so I have to go with my realist leanings here. Besides that, it's not really the issue. Managers have to market you crybabies to sell tickets; you wouldn't have jobs if not for the marketing bugdet. There are other sports to watch; players should be on their knees thanking the NHL for the marketing push over the last 5 years.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Why I love the EU and expensive oil

As I said before, I am a selfish hedonist. I want to live in a vibrant, ever growing, gleaming America. That's why I love to see Europe continue to crush itself under an ever more stultifying federal bureaucracy.

I work with leftist Europhiles, so I hear about it all the time: Did'ja know that brood sows have to have toys in their pens? (Pigs should never be bored, I suppose.) Did'ja know that a fryer chicken costs $14.00? It's been produced under such sanitary conditions, that you don't need to worry about food poisoning. Did'ja know that a draft beer costs $8.00? It's mostly taxes, but their welfare system is so fantastic!

What are they doing eating raw chickens?

Good on'ya Europe! Keep up the fine work!

Meanwhile, Oil touched $49 a barrel this week. I'm opening the bubbly!

You see, most American producers cannot operate when the price is down around $30. Ya'll hear that? Even as I type, rigs are firing up all over the country! Wages are being paid, and families are out buying stuff!

Another benefit is that Islamist governments will see less revenue, since more of our own oil is on the table. Is it a bad thing If Iran becomes more unstable and the House of Saud falls?



Wednesday, September 22, 2004

This explains alot.



Yes, that really is Dan Rather.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Talk like Charles Bronson day!

Screw Pirates!



This guy could kick the ass of every pirate throughout history. -Even if they were all in the same place at the same time! -So there!

Charles Bronson was born On November 3. I hereby propose to all the blogosphere (and to tough guys everywhere) the this date be forever called Talk Like Charles Bronson Day.

I am working on an e-petition, and would appreciate all the support and help you can spare.

Thank you.

Quote of the day

“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” — C. S. Lewis


Monday, September 20, 2004

A Joke (other than this blog)

John Kerry is out jogging one morning and notices Little Hannah on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to Little Hannah and says, "What's in the box, kid?" .

Little Hannah says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens." .

John Kerry laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?" .

"Democrats," says Little Hannah. .

"Oh that's cute," he says and goes on his way. A few days later, John Kerry is running with his buddy Ted Kennedy and he spies Little Hannah with her box just ahead. John Kerry says to Ted, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to Little Hannah. John Kerry says, "Look in the box, Teddy, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Teddy what kind of kittens they are."

Little Hannah replies, "They're Republicans." .

"Whoa!" John Kerry says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What's up?"

"Well," Little Hannah explains, "their eyes are open now."


Update: We at Eugene Rant love to feature jokes such as this one, which make you laugh from more than just a punchline. In case you missed it, this joke featured a line about Sen. Kennedy running.

Yaarrghh.

Me thinks we should have Monday, September 20 be Talk Like A Pirate Day (Observed), when ye greatest of holidays, Talk Like A Pirate Day, be fallin' on a Sunday, mateys! All them scalawags in the office din't get a piece o'me spoutin' pirate talk yesterday, y'nnooo.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Children and guns

What could be nicer? I have always enjoyed teaching kids skill at arms.

Here's a way to get your little ones out in the field before they're old enough to carry a real scattergun:



Only $59.95 What a cool toy! It can even fire caps.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Garage sale


This car should belong to a much younger person. I'm too sore to get under it anymore.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Housekeeping

I've cleaned the blog somewhat. Hockeypup posted a too-wide post, and I nuked it.

We had a local "friend" who turned out to be damaged goods. He's gone. Never lie to me.

Both Michelles are here now. I wish she'd make up her mind. She reminds me of a koan.

Kitty Piercy is still here. She thinks she can make some common cause with productive individuals. I will give her every opportunity.


Update: It wasn't too big on my monitor, or anyone else in the world who has had the great fortune of using one of these ultra-modern 17" monitors with a resolution higher than 800x600! Whoa, what are we made of money around here?!?

We are winning

The BBC Arabia service had an open e-forum about anti American hatred in the Arab world. One might expect a torrent of vitriol, but those folks don't know how to read or use a computer.

This response was fairly typical:

“The Americans are peaceful and smart people. Unfortunately, this hatred was created by some clerics who try to brain-wash the youth every Friday after the prayers so many would go out with hatred in their hearts and anger toward America”

Reemon A’adil Sammi-Iraq.

You can read the whole thing here.

Today's funny

Ha! Be sure to click the link "Where he got it."

Thursday, September 16, 2004

When will bloggers rule the world?

K, I don't know; I've got good title block.

After the recent swirling 'round the drain that has been dizzying CBS, I've seen the abilities of the heavy hitters in the blogosphere to deal a serious backhand to those who deserve it. Here's a couple more in progress, however not as significant as CBS.

Michelle Malkin's excellent post of Borders Bookstore union employees' comment board. An excerpt:
You guys don't actually HAVE to sell the thing!

Just "carelessly" hide the boxes, "accidentally" drop them off pallets, "forget" to stock the ones you have, and then suggest a nice Al Franken or Micheal Moore book as a substitute. Borders wants those recommends, remember?

I don't care if these Neandertals (sic) in fancy suits get mad at me, they aren't regular customers anyway. Other than "Left Behind" books, they don't read. Anything you can do to make them feel unwelcome is only fair. They are the people pushing retailers to cut costs, don't forget. And they would censor your speech, your books, your music in a heartbeat, so give them a taste of it!

Don't get mad, get even!


Shee's got the link to the Border's customer complaint form. I sent mine, telling them I'm done buying engineering textbooks from them.


Also, some Spanish idiocy, thanks to ASV (Yay! ASV is back!) and James Lileks.

I guess since no one's leaving comments here (RAhhh-HEMMMM), you have plenty of time to send a snarky letter to one of these asshat org's.

I'll tell ya what. When these bloggers do rule the world, I'll strike my best quasi-hip pose and say, "I've been reading their blogs for years, man".

No, we all know I won't do that. Because I'm not trying to be hip - that fact is proven by my voting record.

You're an idiot....help the children, idiot

Click title for story

I thought this was a joke, via Drudge.

"Clothing is wonderful, but let them go naked for a while, at least the kids," said Heinz Kerry, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry (news - web sites). "Water is necessary, and then generators, and then food, and then clothes." [Emphasis mine.]


And theennnn...in the saaammmee brreaatthh....

"I think it's important we help all the kids we can," Heinz Kerry said.


....said the billionare wife of the Face of Liberal.

I'm gonna keep shopping on this one; it may have been faxed to Yahoo news from a Kinko's.

Seriously, First Lady of the United States? Even Oprah is aghast at this ostentatious witch.

Update: This story is apparently true. The only other corroborated information I could glean from my Internet searching was that Heinz Kerry used 1.62 liters of hand sanitizer during the photo-op, and had an assistant subordinate clean the soles of her shoes before stepping into the limo.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Onward Oregon!!

I couldn't agree more. Youngsters are to be forgiven for their notions. They float through High School and College in an amnion of Chomskyite sutpidity.

I myself did not wake up until my daughter was about three years old!

So here's a little mantra for you kids:

FREE GOVERNMENT-SUPPLIED ANYTHING LEADS TO DEATH CAMPS...

Always has, always will.

You're welcome.

Where was I going with this? Oh yes! Some clever young leftists are seeking advice on how to move Oregon forward. Go HERE and help them. Please remember to be civil.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

When is the next showing of F&*# for Forests for Fourth Graders, please?

Me: What did you do at school today?

Monkeygirl: Not much.

Me: Yeah? Anything fun?

Mo: We starting making our disappearing wetlands covers. We're going to make books about the disappearing wetlands, and we started making the covers today.

Me(recovering from mild shock): Oh? Where are they disappearing to?

Mo: I dunno.


Well, she damn well better learn! I'm not paying good money for an education devoid of social issues learnin', dammit. I wish I was, but I'm not.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Patriot Day

The family is going out tomorrow to act like exuberant, and optomistic Americans!

Did you know that there are still folks out there that will reserve a big-water boat for you just because you call them up and ask them to? -No deposits, no credit cards, no nothing! -Just the telephonic equivalent of a handshake.

Blast and cast! Expect photos of children and guns (and fishing rods.) Hopefully posing near the carcii of geese and salmon.

Name that Democrat President

Overheard conversation (regarding a recent echocardiogram):

"I'm sure [the cardio technicians] have been busy lately; people paranoid with all that's been happening in the news and all. I mean, I'm the same age as Jimmy Carter!"


What?! Did Carter have a CABG last week too?

Unfortunately, I'm sure this genius is a voter, too.

Things I might say some day said earlier today

Y'know, I like Neil Cavuto. Even though he looks like a whipping boy.

I am an Idiot!

-And I'm danged proud of it!

Is it just me, or is Theresa Heinz-Kerry getting special treatment by the press?

Anyhow, Her Imperiousness, decreed that "only an idiot" would not like her husband's healthcare plan.

Yeah, you have to be pretty smart to go for plan that will increase costs, while reducing choices!

MSWordGate

I know, the -gate thing is tired. Let it lie already.

There's something familiar about all this "Old Media is taking it on the chin --- egg on their face --- Dan Rather Retirement Party --- 60 Minutes should be called 'Cocoon the series'" (OK I made that last one up).

Remember Dateline? The critically acclaimed news magazine informative journalism variety hour or whatever the 'ell it's called now? I know it as the show that rigged up Chevys to explode on impact, suggesting that YOU WILL DIE IF T-BONED, POOR PERSON. I happen to be one of those millions of poor people with saddlebag gas tanks on my pickup. I however, would not have participated in the ensuing panic had this News Story Information Happy Fun Piece not been discredited. However, I fell I would have been a victim of the effects of the economic tailspin created when GM had to recall the meeellliiionnnss of said pickups, had this NSIHFP not been discredited. So yeah, Dateline's not my news source; nor is any TV program intended to scare me with their investigations, which so many have become. But that's just me; I guess everyone else excused Dateline for being liars. Dateline lied! K-5 Blazers died! (Lawn sign due out soon.)

Many people will not link 60 Minutes in with 20/20NightlineSmartlineDateline. What did I JUST NOW pull off their website?

What did Mike Wallace say to Lawrence Taylor, one of the most fearsome NFL players ever, that made him cry?
Find out Sunday, Sept. 12, on 60 Minutes at 7 p.m. ET/PT.


Pornography is now a $10 billion industry in the U.S. and Steve Kroft examines the way it is disseminated, who is consuming it, and the surprising list of companies that reap hefty profits from it.


Link (and gasp in horror) at will. Muted sensationalism takes many forms.


An aside that you can probably go without reading. I'm not sure where I'm at today.

Perhaps I'm too general in my analyses in my blog posts. I guess if I knew the intelligence level of my audience (read: leave a comment, wouldja?), I could adjust my rah rah rah attitude to be more intellectually stimulating. Of course, the intelligence level of some of our readers is blatantly obvious.

Maybe that's why I read so many power blogs. In hopes that I can someday emulate those who are the Harry Bellafonte to my Twisted Sister. It makes sense; really.

September 10, 2004

Michelle of ASV has put up a good post about her 9/11 emotions. An excerpt:

Another year came and went. My kids grew an inch or two, I got married, relatives died, had babies and moved away. Life had a way of making me forget every once in a while. Anniversaries make you remember.


Tomorrow, I'll be up before the sun, and put my flag out on the house to be flown all day. Then I'll make breakfast for my children. Not sure what I'll do after that, but whatever I do, it'll be done freely, without adhereing to the arbitrary code of Islam or Fatah or Juquququaah or any other such nonsense. What I do tomorrow will be done without complications because the governing body has imposed limits on how much college football can be shown on network TV to curb obesity or has banned online firearm shopping to reduce gang violence.

I probably won't post tomorrow, so


Have a happy Patriot Day everyone.


(That doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean)

Thursday, September 09, 2004

HORROR!!!!


Heh heh heh.... I have nothing to fear from Jim Torrey!!!!

A nice sunset indeed!

The scary looking weapons ban is almost no more. While you can almost hear the speculative value of my pre-ban .308 hissing away, I'm still happy.

Which is why The Atlantic dreged up this piece of emo-dreck. From 1993 yet!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Child Abuse

If you have uttered "What kind of amimals takeover schools and kill children?" in the past couple days, here's your answer. Link from Michelle Malkin, showing palestinian children forced into killing for Allah (whoever the hell that is.)

I hope the link works.

Friday, September 03, 2004

What soldiers do.

The Underground has been pretty laible this weekend.


This is a soldier. A baby needs holding and comforting. So that is what he's doing at the moment.


These soldiers are taking innocents out of harm's way. Note how relieved the boy in front is?

Soldiers try to do alot of impossible things, as well:

20 Chechen and Saudi Islamists laid siege to a school where children were learning to think, and were being cared for while their parents worked.

The terrorists were strapped with bombs. They had lots of guns. They had sneaked all sorts of wepons in during recent remodleing. They promised to kill all the children if their demands were not met.

Yet no Kulturny individual would dare think of even considering their horrible agenda.

The losses were horrible. No comfort can ever be given to the parents whose children were murdered. Which of those children was going to grow up and find a cure for a dread disease? Which one would grow a bounty of food in the desert?

What will we say to a mother who had picked out a bedtime story for her little girl, just before she heared the news? How will we put the light back in the eyes of those fathers?

Did the Special Commandos approach the rescue with a jeweler's caution? I believe they did.

I also know that they will will grieve much more over every child they did not save, than all of the billion helpless onlookers combined.

The Islamists will grieve not at all. It is their religious duty to murder children.

The blame for all those deaths lay at the feet of Islamists, and those fine soldiers who tried their best are to be honored.

If you find yourselves in Eugene, be sure to stay at my house.

I'll turn the hose on 'em if they come here!

Hundreds of union activists go door to door for Kerry.

Why do they support this poodle? He'll just sell them down the river.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Welcome, Connie. No I mean welcome Connie. Do it now!

By looking at the sidebar, I see Eugene Rant has acquired another postor. It'll be good to have some objectivity to this gun-lovin', bible-preachin', Jesus-fearin', chicken-eatin' site, such as it is.

Mmm, guns. And chicken. Anyone besides me and Puppy ever had a meal of game bird with your family that involved a small pile of lead shot being created on the side of your plate by meal's end? Weh-heh-heh-hell, you haven't lived.

You mean my kids are going to be this empty-headed?

I'm not sure if this will come out the way I want it. Nevertheless, I sit here and type. If you're reading it, I guess I deemed it worthy. Or I thought "I gotta put something up or Puppy's gonna wrangle my ass."

If ever I need an example of irrational lunacy, I'll take the advicee on a city bus.

Three kids were on the bus with me, one doing most of the talking. They were loosely plotting a scheme to go to prom this year, sit in the middle of the dance floor and play cards. "We're gonna totally do it, y'know, start a revolution."
Pardon me, youngster, but if you are attending a traditional event just to disrupt it and make some abstract point, it's not a revolution. It only serves you and makes you think you've done something worthwhile, while all you've done is serve as an example of idiocy. Think about this: at the end of the night, will anyone consider what you have done to be a just act of defiance, or just a childish act? If they are all as short-sighted as you, they will certainly refer to it as the latter at the prom after-party.

Of course, I didn't say anything. Why the hell not? Either it wasn't worth my time, or I feared confrontation with these kids. You tell me.

Continuing on, school is mean. So mean that they don't let me exercise my rights of free speech, which was probably some crybaby tirade about unfair grading or perceived attention whoring by other students.

You're 17. You are one step up from property, unless a judge says otherwise. You are participating in a civic event, known as education, paid for by taxpayers. You have nothing invested and everything to gain. Sorry, but yes, your 'right to say whatever you want' will be suppressed in this arena. And rightly so. Had it been a longer bus ride, your free speech rights may have been suppressed by me.

Stupid teenagers of the world, know this: I'm not going to pay for your healthcare, housing or tasty snacks. Why don't you use some of that free speech that you defend so vehemently and make it in the world at 20 years old?

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

A perfect cast



This A/B student knows how to nail a fish!

Self -sidelining...

There is a maxim that most problems are self-limiting.

I happen to be a selfish hedonist, but I share a great deal of common cause with the religious right. We both value the sovereign individual.

Alan Keys appears to be self-sidelining

Bob is no more!!!!!!!

Obviously, I have political ambitions!

My handlers told me to "soften up" my image, and to play on that hyphen-American thing. They also told me to relax.

"Stop being a hot reactor," they said. That's what people like, and you'll live longer."

No arguing with living longer! That gives me more time to live as a polititian! Mmmmmm... -free money!

With that in mind, I have changed my first name to "Puppy," and adopted the middle name "Rose." (You see, just smelling roses makes me nearly catatonic.)

I will also begin to use the ancestral spelling of my surname.

Here, turn this into a bumper-sticker:

Puppy for Senate
-because good things are nice.

If you don't believe me, just ask any Circuit Judge in Lane County!