Kitty calls for "new ideas"

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(Thanks, Chas!)

Swamps before people! Yaaaay!!!!

I have some "new ideas":

1. Expand Amazon creek until it's a 150-foot wide canal. Traffic can utilize a series of ferry boats. This concept has the advantage of making no sense, sounding like something they'd do in Europe, and being dreadfully expensive. Liberals should like it alot!

2. Blimps!

3. (does bong hit...) We need to learn to navigate the internal landscape, maaaannnn

4. Them Duke boys a-teach us all to utilize expedient piles of gravel.

5. Bulldozers and a penny. We flip the coin and then just level everything on one side of the west Eleventh or the other.

Well, I've done my bit. I'm just trying to be a good citizen.

Zere iss nossing to vorry about

Click on zee title

You are ordered to believe this!



Loyal Comrade Citizens:

Always Remember that our enlightened comrade Mayor, and the enlightend Comrade Council-person Bettman live only to serve the proletariat!

THEY ARE TO BE TRUSTED WITHOUT QUESTION!

THERFORE, NO SCANDAL CAN EXIST!

ALL HAIL THE ENLIGHTENED PROGRESSIVE COUNCIL!

Economic Development???

There is a process to rank proposed community economic development projects in Lane County called the "Needs and Issues Inventory" The criteria they are ranked on are:

- Project readiness
- Leverage of matching funds
- Jobs and economic impact (Project creates or leads to direct and indirect job creation and retention)
- Supports local and regional strategic plans
- Community impact (Strengthens community, has long term impact on economic development)
- Local priority (Ranking sponsor gives)

So cities, quasi-governmental agencies and nonprofits submit projects to be ranked. The City of Coburg wants to improve the water and sewer systems and the I-5 interchange, Florence wants to extend sewers to 200 acres of land that includes industrial zoned land, and even the U of O wants to expand a new building to include a high tech business incubator.

That brings us to the City of Eugene's list of priority projects:

#1 An education center for the West Eugene Wetlands
#2 West Bank Trail Extension (Willamette River bike path)
#3 Forest Legacy (forest preservation by buying the land and preventing development)
#4 Delta Ponds Path (another bike path)
#5 Spring Connector Multi-Use Path (yet another bike path)

I am the only one that wonders if the City read the criteria? Where are the jobs? What is the economic benefit to the community?

I guess I should not expect more from Kitty and the Katz. Lets see, buying private property and permanently banning any development is economic development? Bike paths create jobs?

Only in Eugene. And you wonder why we RANT

A Call For Unity

Today's Rant is over at the Oregon Catalyst

All the news that's fit to print.

Budgies the world over will need new cages.

Let Them Levitate!!!

Actual conversation overheard between Marie Antoinette Piercy and an ODOT official:


ODOT: Madame, the citizens of West Eugene, Veneta and Elmira are all stuck in traffic.

MAP: Can't they just take a bus?

ODOT: No your highness, they don't live or work near a bus line and they have children to drop off and pick up.

MAP: So I guess bicycles are out of the question?

ODOT: Yes and the traffic jams are affecting tourist traveling to Florence. We need to build a by-pass to relieve the traffic,

MAP: We can't do that, there are butterflies and turtles to think of.

ODOT: We have to do something or the businesses will start to relocate and the citizens will be unemployed. Without jobs they will starve!

MAP: Well. Let them levitate!!!

Scene closes with ODOT official banging head against an Urban Growth Boundary.

(For those of you not in Lane County, Eugene Mayor Kitty Piercy cast the tie breaking vote to kill the West Eugene Parkway that had been sent to the voters by initiative twice and was approved both times and a recent City funded survey gave the parkway a majority support. Pesky voters, what do they know. Marie Antoinette Piercy knows what is good for us even if we don't.)

Dukky Dilemma

This photo is months old. Missus took all the camera stuff with her to China. I wish I could post a recent picture.

Anyhow, our drake (on the right) has grown into an absolutely gorgeous specimen of the pekin breed. He has a "drake's curl" on his tail, a very quiet voice, and his form and vigor are (I daresay) perfect.

I don't know weather to enter him in the Lane County fair or not.

On one hand I'd get boasting rights. On the other hand, it would be stressful for the drake, and the prize is only a few dollars. What if I did beat little Susan Smith? (age nine) I'd feel like an absolute heel!

Then again, what if I didn't beat her?

1,000 (pet) rats found in Petaluma home

Does this sort of thing happen anywhere else in the world? Some retiree is found with an inconceivable numbers of cats, dogs, horses, or whatever. I remember one case in Atlanta where authorities found 100-plus cats, amidst the well-polished skeleton of their owner!

You never read about some Aussie who has 200 wombats in his home, or some Kenyan with 100 gibbons. Surely it must happen, mustn't it?

Update: A shrink friend wrote in. The disorder is called "hoarding syndrome." It has been observed in almost all countries. The victim is almost always a widowed or never married retiree, and the object of hoarding is as likely to be an inanimate object as an animal.

I guess since "New Yorker" magazines don't breed, poop, and die, we rarely hear about those cases.

Bye bye Parkway

Rejoice, oh Citizens!

All Hail Comrade Kitty!

Let us all celebrate her wisdom!

Once again, our elightened leaders at city hall have decided what's best for us! Despite some counter-revolutionary forces who (several times) won a referendum to build the parkway, IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!!!

Reprobate elements in the Ministry of Transportation have tried to agitate the proletariat against Comrade Kitty. Do not be decieved. Sitting in traffic in an overheating car on west 11th, is good for the economy and good for the people!!

Oh, there it is!

One of Saturday's burned out hippies had a sign that read:

"WHERE'S YOUR OUTRAGE?"

I think I found it:

English speaking fire fighters to lose jobs

Drive a stake through him...

...just to be sure!

Ken Lay dead of a heart attack.

He got off easy. Good Riddance!

Preparing for the Fourth?

I miss fireworks. When I was little, I could go to Woolworth's, and buy proper, blow-your-hand-clean-off, cherry bombs for a nickle apiece.

Oh sure, some natural selection occurred, but they were usually the slow children.

An Aussie mate shows how to "reformat" our modern pussified pyrotecnics into something that would make Thomas Jefferson proud to call you a fellow-citizen.

Bonfires and illuminations, indeed!

A perfect day. (-or nearly so)

I took this photo at the junction of US Highways 126 and 101 yesterday afternoon in Florence:














Okay, that's obviously not a photo. Missus is in China with our modest complement of camera gear. However, the above cartoon essentially describes what I saw on my way to the coast.

Honestly! Can't a bunch of aged, burnt-out hippies find something better to do than block traffic? And on such a pretty day too!

Well, to each his own. The boys and I had lots of fun, anyway.